I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
