At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
