all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
i need some magic done to my vagina
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
