Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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