If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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