All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
