Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
