Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
