the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
