Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I am spending my child support on dildos
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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