she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize