About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
