I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
