I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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