I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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