I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
