so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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