so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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