dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
How does one acquire holy water?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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