also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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