They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
