This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
