Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
