You really coming over, don't trick.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
