90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
