im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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