I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
