I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
