We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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