I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
