The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
this boner is exhausting
she pinky promised me she was 18
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Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
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I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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