dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
