first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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