Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
