Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
soo... how was my night?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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