Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
