he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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