Soap is not a condiment
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
