the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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