OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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