You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
