bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
