my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
