I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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