Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
