I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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