this beer tastes like vomit already
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
