it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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