he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize