It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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