the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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