well I can't set my house on fire every night
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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