I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
