let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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