i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Randomize