I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
