it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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