he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
