Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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