You're my little dorito
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Randomize
