We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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