Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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