that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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