He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
All the doctor said was why
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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