All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
