I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
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The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
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I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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