If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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