you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
